Thursday, October 18, 2012

a voice from the dust.

this blog is all but a memory, I have been living my life for a few years now most days are good but most days are also very lonely. owell. I however recently commented on someones blog so I figured I'd post something showing this is still somewhat active and I will be interested in watching the stats counter to see how many come from that blog to here...

Wednesday, December 22, 2010


my account linked to this blog was just hacked... thankfully google is on top of these things and stopped a spam email from going out to 16 random people... I think it started from this blog though, I have one of those counters and for the past year or so it's gone through the roof with hits... I doubt I'm that popular no I know I'm not that popular... so it pisses me off that spam bots visit my blog... I don't know what I'm going to do about it... so anyway I have a current post ready to publish but am a little weirded out by all this... does anyone have suggestions?

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

the obligated facebook note...

so those of you that noticed I hope you enjoyed some entertainment... but this is my cliche coming out on facebook on my birthday note...

I'm an adult with not much responsibility, I can buy myself my own "presents" so if you're reading this I ask you for a moment of your time.

I don't know how many of you know, I'm sure a lot of you don't care but whatever the case may be, if you've ever wondered this is conformation to your suspicions… I am gay. I have a very wide spectrum of friends so this might be a little confusing to some of you. Those that don't really care THANKS, enjoy the entertainment… and for those of you that are at a lose of words, take a deep breath and hear me out. These are my observations from dealing with "coming out" over the past few years to myself and to my family,

I feel like I am alive now, I am definitely happy as opposed to miserable. I actually have confidence in myself now. I haven't stopped believing in God, I have a better belief and understanding of him because I have accepted myself for who I am. The biggest thing though is that I really don't care if you have a problem with this or don't agree with it… I have better things to do with my time then worry if I'm going to lose "friends" over the fact that I'm tired of living two lives.

You may wonder why now? I am a huge fan of a site called post secrets and this week there was a secret that really hit home and though I love my family dearly I can't do this any more. The secret says

"Being who I am would destroy my family…
so I keep quiet and destroy myself instead."

so call me whatever you want to but I can't do it anymore. I am the same person you knew, nothing has changed. You just know a tiny little detail that in todays world makes people believe I'm completely different.

I'm not going to try to prove anything to you. If you want to see for yourself that I'm not any different thats fine, lets talk. Other then that I hope you can find inside yourself to remember to love everyone. Because as "gay" as that sounds that is what the world needs a little more of.

peace ;)

Saturday, May 29, 2010

right so I have thought about this a lot and I'm over worrying/caring about keeping my "identity" hidden on here... for right now I'm not going to come out and say where I live and give out my phone number but yeah no more hush hush type of stuff

so yeah basically I went back to Alaska for the summer, I got a internship here and I basically really need to make my life what I want out of it... so that is what I'm trying to work on... but I will write more later, I just wanted to get this out there for future reference for myself...

Friday, April 30, 2010


right on, so this is totally an angry rant but it is what it is... it's kinda ironic cause a comment on my last post from a Julie said I didn't need "wishes" cause I sounded "together" well this will prove that wrong but overall I think I'm pretty normal I just let everything build up and then I blow it off by bitching... so anyway my beef for the day is relationships...I've been kinda talking to this guy for 5 months now... we've never met though cause of a lot of things but all that is beside the point... IS THERE ANY NORMAL PERSON OUT THERE? I mean I know I'm not normal but WTF... or I guess if I was wishing something with a magic ginny I'd say how do I find a halfway normal person that I could spend the rest of my life with... and I might add happily in there too... anyway in other news my dad wrote me back but I haven't read it, I don't want to deal with that bull shit at the moment (I let a friend read it so I've indirectly dealt with it) so yeah all I know is that my gay world and my life is only a matter of time before they are the same. Yes I basically mean I'm gonna be doing the coming out on facebook soon and probably come out on here as my real self (even though a lot of you know who I am) but yeah something has got to change so I'm tired of everything and yeah starting with the obvious... anyway sorry for the bad grammer I'm in a rush and I had to get this out so thanks for listening / reading...

Friday, April 23, 2010


so I came out to my last brother a couple weeks ago with basically the same reaction as the rest. I've been meaning to finally come out to my dad and so I finally wrote an email and just sent it. SO with that I will see what happens. I'm not worried and I don't care how he takes the information. That may be a little harsh but it's really not my problem... I have accepted this and now it's their problem if they can't deal with it. I'm sure with time things will reach an equilibrium... so till then or an update... or something else interesting...

Sunday, March 21, 2010

post secret...

and this is a comment from another secret...

-----Email Message----
Being laid off last October was one of the best things that ever happened to me-- sometimes you have to do something you really hate before you find your true passion and purpose in life.

I think I'm going to try and take it to heart... not care so much about things and go where I feel I am being lead... (follow my heart...)