Tuesday, September 30, 2008

random thoughts...

ok I should be starting a paper right now that is due tomorrow afternoon but I guess I won't get very far tonight. so this is whats on my mind, I know that it will cause some commotion in the moho world but its the truth in my life...

anyway I am going to my friends house on the east coast over the holidays and I'm thinking I'm gonna get drunk... the weird thing is that as I have thought about it I get sick to my stomach, but everything else in my life that isn't up to the church's standards I'm fine with... I guess I'll see what happens, I have always thought that drinking is a waste of money and it's not worth the side effects and even if I wasn't lds I wouldn't really drink... I guess its just one of those things where you draw the line even if it has nothing to do with the church?

I figure I'll probably be going to the matis fireside next week(?) depending on the weather...(I might even catch a ride with somebody from slc area...) I don't want to be one of those people that acts like they're a good little mormon boy but they do everything under the sun when nobodies looking... I'm just trying to figure out life... I don't judge anybody for how they live their life and so I guess I don't want people to look down at me, I know that is hypocritical especially since I just generalized a group.

as for everything else I'm just living day to day. its late and this doesn't make much sense I'm sure so I think I will just go to bed...

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

blah

really there isn't anything new with me.
School started, I wait till the last minute to start an assignment and when it's finished it doesn't really matter if it is quality or not (yes I could start earlier and put some effort into it but why). I've had a few things I thought about blogging about but I didn't get around to it and now I don't remember what they were...
so as you can see this is pretty pointless but I am putting off doing a paper that I don't want to deal with...
I still feel empty and like my life has no meaning or direction but nobody cares either way, I guess part of my problem is I don't really have friends that I hang out with but I can't find any (I don't try too hard but I don't really know where to start) being gay or dealing with it is always on my mind, I know I said I'm happier but I still can't move on
anyways till I come up with something better I guess this is where I'll shut up....