Wednesday, October 1, 2008

change

I wrote the following earlier thus week and I've been thinking a lot about it so as follows is what I wrote...

"I think it is inevitable that I will come out to the world. Since I have come to that conclusion, I think it will be happening sooner then later... I realized that this is my life and there are so many people in the world that regret so much. I regret more then so much, so I figure its time for a change, it's time for me to take control of my life. I don't know exactly how I'm going to do that (and I'm up for advice) but I need to start now or I will just keep living this empty life... I also need to give up all the hatred in my life, I don't know which will be harder..."

so I was thinking that though I have have a ton of inner turmoil and parts of my life are misrable overall I like how it is, if I came out I know I would still be loved if even loved more... but things would change, for the most part it would be better but I don't have control of what would happen and once it was out to the world my life would change and I don't know what I would become... it seems like I will ever be at a cross road because the option will always be there...(untill it happens) I guess im going in circles so ill drop it...

so its conf. weekend I didn't realize that... has anything been said about "sga"... yeah I figured there wouldn't... owell maybe next time...


1 comment:

Robert said...

I know exactly what you mean Cade. "It's inevitable that I will come out to the world." I guess that's about the same as "It's inevitable that the world will find me out...or at least those that know me." You're totally right about ever being at a crossroads until it happens. The only thing that keeps me there is the fear of how people will react.

I'm very interested in following how this goes...keep posting on it...with regard to which direction you choose. Before the winter shuts all riding down, we've got to go on a ride. Too bad the weather here in AZ can't be up there too...hehehe. It's 80 down here and beautiful sunny. I'm telling you this so you can imagine how sweet it is...not to make you crawl out of your skin...lol. Later bro.