Monday, December 8, 2008

finals

I know by writing this I may get some flack and just saying that maybe I need to change something but right now I have absolutely no desire to live... (NO I AM NOT REFERRING TO ANYTHING TO DO WITH SUICIDE...) I pretty much know basically why I feel this way but I don't know what to do about it. I have this class and every time I have an assignment due I dread it and put it off and hate it, somehow I usually get it done but not without a lot of pain and misery. Just saying this should throw out all kinds of sirens and lights, but I don't know what to do. I have no desire to finish the class even though I know I could probably pass it if I just wrote the stupid paper (and I hope I write it) I know I have so much to live for but I don't understand how something like this can cripple every aspect of my life. I have literally been sitting in front of my computer for days I have quite a bit of [good] research and all I have to do is write the freakn thing.
I know it will be friday in an instant and whatever happens will be in the past and I know I will make it to friday regardless what happens, I just wish I didn't have to suffer through whatever it is that happens...

3 comments:

Robert said...

Hey man, you're not alone. With regard to how you feel, I'm right beside you...look to your right. See me? I'm there. Love ya man. Just know that I'm right beside you. At least we're not feeling this way alone. Love ya Cadence. At least we're together.

Andy said...

Hey man...thanks for sharing this. I really appreciate seeing the "human side" of my friends. Although I'm not going to school right now and can't relate exactly with what you're feeling, I can understand somewhat. Lately I have been feeling similar feelings regarding the purpose behind living. It's not necessarily in a depressing, suicidal way, but rather, what am I doing? I have concluded, after much thought, that it's a good thing to experience these feelings. Good luck finishing school up man and once it's all said and done, you can take a step back and figure out what meaning you want for your life and then pursue that. I'm around if you need anything bro.

Z i n j said...

OK Cadence...I won't panic with all that you said but I want to avoid this particular class if possible. We're a chat away. Stay Kool!