Tuesday, December 2, 2008

thanksgiving...

I went to my aunts house which is somewhere quite a few hours away from here (I don't know why I care about anonymity but whatever) I rode with my cousins family and looking back I don't know why, I thought I would do homework but that didn't happen. anyway the main point of this blog was I stopped wearing my "g's" the beginning of this year sometime but nobody has mentioned anything to me. I have thought about what I would say if someone questioned me but not in any depth and not for awhile. It was bound to happen and I guess I knew if anyone were to say something it would be my aunt. (she was cooking dinner while I chit chatted with her...) I was caught off guard and didn't know what to say (it was like a deer in the headlights, I haven't experienced many of these experiences...) so I think she realized it and dropped it, with only a few moments of awkward silence following it was relatively painless... or was it? I don't know what to do, I am looking for reasons to come out but I don't want to bother people with their lives, my aunt is a very nice lady, I think since my mom died, they were sisters in a small family my uncle is the "black sheep" that nobody talks about, she has kind of "taken in" my brother and I since we're still single. so whats my point? I don't want to bother her with this, she might be helpful in offering advice and what not but she is one of the "churchy" people, and thats what her answers would consist of... obviously I'm judging her but should I "bother" her with this? (yes I know she asked about it, but she doesn't realize what that answer really consists of)

in other news, I have 2 weeks till I fly to the east coast to hang out with friends for 3 weeks ! all I have to do is write about 30 pages of B.S. and take 2 tests...!

3 comments:

Z i n j said...

C the Bohemian..It would be interesting to see what your Aunts response would be. Does everyone in the church just fall in line or are there also thoughtful people who think things through? It seems you don't want to hear the "churchy answer" to this. I don't blame you for that. I just think it would be good to have another person in your life who cares about you for what you are and for what you feel. Good luck with the B.S. I'm doing historical research so I enjoy it for a change.

Cadence said...

thanks for the comment btw I emailed you, and I'll let you know what happens...

Robert said...

Ahhhhh! The B.S. is a killer. And 30 pages of it? Wow, sorry man, that might be worse than being gay... ;) Ha ha.

I don't know man. I haven't told anyone that I'm really close to without knowing quite well that they'd react in a way that I'd like. That's a really tough question. I'm torn a lot as to wether I'll ever tell my family. Like you indicated, feeling isolated cause of this is really horrible. Telling or not telling your aunt should be done only with a ton of thought and feeling around. Feel her out and maybe you'll find that she's more acquainted with the matter than you thought...maybe.

Good luck with the B.S. and the tests. Enjoy the east for me. I love going back that way. Later man.