Thursday, January 15, 2009

just another post...

I don't know what it is today but I got really down/blue... one of my classes slapped reality in my face and I don't think I will be the same again. (seriously) I don't know what the truth is but what was brought to my attention does add up and it makes sense. I like most don't want to believe it though. I really don't want to talk about it but maybe I will later.
I then had to talk to my father cause I have put it off for like months and he was complaining to my brother. I don't believe he is so naive when it comes to reality it's very annoying. I guess I shouldn't complain, I talk to him literally for 2 minutes or less and then don't have to for months. I just have to remember it's really not that bad.
The history behind this is long and dirty but like I said it pisses me off that he is so oblivious to the truth. It's obvious that I avoid him and don't want to deal with him but when I do give him two minuets it's so fake that it just pisses me off. SO this is still not making any sense but this is one of the reasons I don't want to come out because it would induce discussion in our family that I really don't want to deal with right now. The discussion I refer to has nothing to do with me being gay but the truth that our family is more dysfunctional then most.

SO between these two events is why I'm feeling like I just want to walk away from being a responsible adult. I don't know what I'd do though so I guess I just see what tomorrow brings.

WHY the fuck is the news SO incredibly horrible at reporting anything that has to due with news. ughhhhhhh example: fox 13 was talking about the US Airways plane that crash landed into the Hudson was due to a flock of birds, then the newscaster said rescue crews "plucked" the passengers to safety... (sorry but I guess everything is more annoying when your annoyed...)


Z i n j said...
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Z i n j said...

Hi Bohemian...glad to hear all is going so well...LoL!!
Hang in there. What is this school thing that has you worked up? Most of us have that in common so we maybe can help. The Dad thing....unfortunately I can relate. Mine is an old windburned Rancher. Rough prejudiced old school but yet sentimental. The gap in the way we view life is like a chasm. I show great patience but at other times-- I hide. In the gospel, dysfunction is no excuse to ignore our opportunities to make peace and progress and all that good stuff. I wish I had more charity. I should love the family as much as I love the land. Maybe I do. I just need......?