Sunday, April 12, 2009

I never thought it'd happen...

so last week I got a compatible partners account from eharmony, I was hoping for a miracle that I am not holding my breath for... anyway it's free for 6 months so what do you have to lose? well the first match it gave me that lived in utah was promising, he was cool, normal, average, and hmm he liked bikes! so we went through the process of getting to know each other (it's all lined out and is basically 5 steps) we decided to go to dinner and talked very effortlessly and then the next day (saturday) went for a fun ride together and he was a good sport cause it was kinda cold and ugly weather (he has a nice bike too!)... so yeah I don't want to jump to conclusions or curse myself but if anything it gives me hope there are regular peope that have my same interests... (who would of thought) I guess I'm ready for something new that is a positive thing so I will be open to whatever happens and go from there...

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

follow up, coming out again?

this is going to be quick I'm in a rush but I think I need to let everyone know the results...
Alan convinced me that this was important enough that I needed to really TALK to my brother about this, after I talked to Alan I realized how right he was. I think I have been used to coming out to "safe" people that I knew would take it well so going out on a limb and coming out to someone that had no experience with it and then having it go well made me think that all was well. SO basically my thought process was this is WHY I came out to him to educate him and dispel stereotypes. SO I emailed him saying we needed to go to lunch. I figured I'd give him time and do it at the end of the week, it turns out I forgot he was going out of town so we actually did it yesterday!?!?! I kinda freaked out and was worried cause I also needed time to plan but I knew what I wanted to say so I outlined it and though it didn't go how I planned I did say everything I wanted to. Basically his concerns we valid just because he didn't know any better, I told him that is part of the problem because most "gays" are normal. We did have a discussion going but he still didn't say too much though I know he knows my intentions. I also told him that I was offended by what he said. I guess this whole situation was good because I think I am going to use the same basic outline to come out to his wife (who I am scared of how she will take it...) so I also have a bit of reality and will be ready for the extreme???
basically things worked out... and I feel even better knowing that we understand each other. now to pass my classes this semester... ugh...
oh and thanks for every bodies concern and encouragement

Monday, April 6, 2009

3 weeks later

ok I don't know what it is but I think more honest conversations come through written methods like email... I emailed my brother because I didn't know how to tell my sister in law... this is his reply...

Get married to a nice girl and have four kids. Get insurance. Be happy and independent and successful. Then you won't disappoint or hurt her. My only concern is that you don't molest any of our children, since they say 90% of abuse comes from a close relative. While the our family is completely dysfunctional, my family is Utah normal. Spoiled kids, messy house, good income, popular in the church and neighborhood. Gay brother coming out of the closet. She will deal with it. Tell her. We love you and want the best for you. Not the gay best, the "Get married to a nice girl and have four kids. Get insurance. Be happy and successful" best.

so I don't know how to reply to this, I'm pretty sure he wasn't serious about the molesting part at least not totally serious, if he was that hurts a lot... I see that he cares but he is completely clueless to the whole issue... which is understandable since he never has dealt with this, so I guess time will tell with what happens... anyway I don't know why I'm posting this I guess if someone has some ideas for the next step that would be nice...